WHEN I WAS TOO SMALL TO SPEAK, I SAW PATTERNS, GHOSTS, AND TRIED TO HEAL THOSE AROUND ME BY FOCUSING MY LOVE ON THEM. MY MOM HAD ME DRAW UP HER ASTROLOGICAL CHARTS BY HAND WHEN I WAS LITTLE AND I ENJOVED THE ART OF IT BUT ALWAYS FELT RESISTANT TO FULLY EMBRACING THE LENS (I REGRET THIS YOUNG AQUARIUS MOON ACTING OUT NOW, AND DESPERATELY WISH I HADN’T REBELLED AGAINST MY MOTHERS INFINITE WISDOM).
LATER, i STARTED GETTING IN MY DREAMS SOME PRESCIENT VISIONS THAT REVEALED PEOPLE I LOVED DYING-AND THEN THEY DIED. THE FIRST PERSON I THINK WAS A LOVER-I WAS FREAKED OUT AND SEEKING (BEYOND MY DREAM JOURNAL: SOMETHING TO HELP ME REFINE MY DISCERNMENT THAT COULD HELP VALIDATE MY INTUITIONS, SINCE EVERYTHING UNDER THIS KYRIARCHY UNDERMINES LIFE, WHILE GASLIGHTING US INTO THINKING OUR SACRED VERIDITAS IS BEING AFFIRMED, SUPPORTED, UPHELD. Through a series of serendipities, I was reintroduced to the tarot and got to know it by giving readings to myself and others and then by making decks of cards through facilitated group sessions, what I call “make yr own tarot” or “diy tarot studio”.