Memento, Moment, or Memetic?

At first, I planned to dig deeper into a work I made in 2022, titled “MOMENTO”.

The main visual of MOMENT includes a photograph depicting someone peering into the palms of their hands. I looked down at the palms of my own hands, then turned them over, and the scars of self-harm on my left hand caught my eye.

“Do you remember that time?”

It felt like my past self was speaking to me. From that time, I never want to go through the same painful experience ever again. No matter what I do, I came to deeply desire to love myself the most and live a life where I can make my own choices thoroughly.

I decided to face the mirror and focus on that scar.

The old lens I pulled out after a long time was not compatible and only worked with manual focus.
It was a camera body I got cheaply on eBay to replace the camera stolen in a burglary at work.

Unexpectedly, it brought back the feeling of when I learned photography with a film camera.
I turned the lens quietly so the focus would not slip. I focused on the past wound, looked for a shutter speed that pushed the limit of blur and darkness while keeping the grain from getting too rough, and clicked the shutter just once.

I didn’t want to press the shutter over and over again because I wanted to capture the emotion and atmosphere of this very moment.

The only way for me to live socially and healthily is to take photographs.